Thursday, May 24th, 2012: It’s interesting to me to see who sticks with you and continues to follow you even after you disappear from tumblr for months at a time. Those are the true followers that I love. The ones that have been there since the way beginning and have watched me blossom and grow into the person I am today. They have seen me when i’m sad, they’ve seen me when i’m happy, and everything in between. Those are the ones I really appreciate. I don’t pay much attention to my follower count. I have acquired quite a lot of followers over my time here but the ones that mean the most are those ones who stuck it out with me through it all.
I honestly couldn’t even begin to describe in words what it feels like to be in love. I couldn’t even show you in pictures, videos, or blogs. It’s something you’d have to feel for yourself. It’s something so amazing that you will know when you finally find it. It may sneak up behind you, it may be right in front of you, it may even come at a time when you thought nothing would look up. I honestly don’t think love requires a certain age limit or a time limit of two people being together. You’ll just know when it happens. But in the end, the stupid fights, the distance you spend apart, and the obstacles you are going to face along the way are so worth it. Every minute you spend together slowly outweighs every minute you had to spend apart. The cute little tickle fights, the teasing of each others accents, the arguments over who’s eyes are prettier, the arguments over who is going to pay for dinner. The romantic getaways where you each spend hours trying to impress one another. That feeling in the pit of your stomach you still get when your lips gently touch each other. It’s all so real, every minute of it. I know now that everything about my boyfriend is 100% real. Our love for each other is something that only happens once in a lifetime and it will never die out. It’s something so true that we will continue to fight any obstacle in our path… together.
Sunday, May 6th, 2012: I’ll never forget that day I saved that girl from killing herself. She doesn’t really know it, but she has had just as big of an affect on my life as I did on hers. Even though I hardly knew her, I knew I had to do anything I could. She may have been halfway around the world in Australia but I wasn’t giving up on her. I’m not sure how I managed to get over 110 other people to send her encouraging messages, but I know she needed them because everybody needs a little reminder sometimes. The smallest things could have the biggest affect on people. Just remember, next time you see someone on the street.. just smile at them. That smile could have been all they needed to get by.
Monday, April 30th, 2012: If there is one thing I’ve learned over the last couple of years , it would be that you should never have to hide who you really are from anybody. Never hold back, stay strong, smile, and prove them all wrong. You might get hurt a few times along the way but in the end it all becomes worth it because nothing is better than that feeling of being loved by everyone for just being yourself.
I make mistakes just like anyone else. I sometimes get tossed around in an abyss of emotions, but I always come out learning something new. I’ve been beat up, bruised, and broken more times than I can recall, but I’m making myself whole again, and nothing can come in between me and my goals. I’m nineteen with a head full of doubt, and a heart full of dreams, though I’m still learning to separate the two. I’m Vinny, and I’m making plans.
I never used to believe everyone who told me “things get better”… but I promise you.. they really do. You have to believe in the things you are doing. Someone will find you and along the way you’ll also find yourself. You’ll get hurt plenty of times, you may even get set back a few times, but never let anything stop you from pushing forward. Because I promise you that in the end.. it is so worth it all.
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012: I’m afraid of dying young. It is something I can’t quite even grasp my thoughts around. What really happens after you are gone? Are you just gone forever or is part of you still around for those who love you? Will anybody really remember me or the things I did long after I’m gone? Have I made enough impacts on peoples lives? Did I accomplish all that I wanted to? Will I be able to watch over those that I love? Will he move on? Will they all move on? Will you really miss me? Why can’t everyone just live forever?
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012: I shouldn’t be like this. I should be smiling. I live and work at Disney World. I have a perfect boyfriend. I have amazing friends. What more could I need right now? Lately I’ve been such a mess. I’ve let things get to me that really shouldn’t. I’m not entirely sure where I’m headed with my life at this point.. but I know I’ll get there somehow. I typed out 24 random questions that were scattered in my mind about my life. My boyfriend managed to answer every single one with a sweet answer encouraging me to just be happy. We are always there for each other to keep one another from falling down. We lift each other right back up and continue on with our daily lives. He is beyond perfect. I don’t know why I was so lucky to deserve all of this.. but I need to just embrace it. I just wish he wasn’t so far away right now.
Friday, January 6th, 2012: It’s truly amazing to me how many people actually care. It ranges from perfect strangers to people who just met me recently to people who’ve known me for a while to people i’ll be meeting very shortly. Hearing that all of you actually care so much only inspires me more to continue living the way that I do. The biggest person who made me start living like that really was Audrey. She lifted me back up sophomore year and helped me see things a different way. I slowly changed into the person that I am today. The crazy, happy, smiling vinny that you all know and love. Hearing about her passing has only made me want to continue living this way. I won’t stop chasing my dreams, living spontaneously, or reaching out to anyone and everyone that i possibly can until the day that I die. Life is much too short to live any other way, honestly. All of you give me so much hope.. you don’t even know.
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012: I can truly say that I legitimately have hatred towards my own father. I just had the most amazing time in both DC and NYC the last week and a half. I come home to my father screaming at me the entire car ride back from the airport. He went off on me and told me how stupid I am and called me an “idiot”. He yelled at me because he only slept 3 hours and I’m using up his time to come get me…. even though he was driving my own car to get me. I was literally bawling my eyes out. I cursed at him and told him how he doesn’t give a shit about me because he told me I don’t appreciate anything. I yelled back and said “WHAT IS THERE TO APPRECIATE? You don’t give me anything. You don’t even care about me at all.” and he only responded with silence and “why don’t you just shutup?” and he got out of the car. I’m so glad I leave for Florida again in 3 days because I can’t handle being here any longer.
Sunday, January 1st, 2012: This was the best New Years of my life. I got to go to times square in New York City and watch the ball drop. We walked for 6 hours, acquired 5 new friends, through millions of people, hundreds of cups, and several blocks to find a spot where we could see the ball. I was determined. We saw it. We saw it drop. Words can’t even describe the feeling I had. You would not believe some of the things I saw last night. I was completely sober but it was definitely the most memorable New Years. It bothers me so much when people are negative on New Years and bitch about the year before and how nothing will get better this year either. Maybe you should focus on the good things and just smile. Don’t be so negative and maybe things could actually change. I’m off to go see the statue of liberty, Brooklyn bridge, and times square again.
